wheels: get 'tileiras' from system install, not 'cuda-toolkit' wheels - #2564

Follow-up to #2548

Contributes to rapidsai/build-planning#324

• switches to wheel builds and pip devcontainers getting tileiras from the system-installed CTK, not cuda-toolkit wheels.

Closes #8520

• avoids rebuilding dependencies like cuVS from source, by adding a bit of CMake (borrowed from cuDF) to add cmake.prefix entrypoints from pip-installed packages to CMake's search list

Notes for Reviewers

Benefits of the tileiras change

• one less version to need to remember to update when we bump the CTK version we build against
• consistent with how we get NVCC from the system install, not wheels
• removes a source of patching in DLFW builds (where a system CTK is always preferred to one provided by wheels)

How I tested this

TBD